Be Assertive Learning Review.

 In the past few weeks, our class has been learning about how to be assertive in a situation or how to use assertive communication when you are in a very tough situation. This post is about a review of my learning so far in preparation for my assessment in English. 

Here is a link to the teacher's resource that shows what we've been learning in class.

QUESTIONS:

1. What are the four types of behavioral responses, and what does each mean (in your own words)?

• Aggressive: Being competitive and making strong attempts just win. Being rude and disrespecting others without thinking about how they will feel, therefore causing trouble or violent behavior.
• Passive: When you accept or allow what happens or what others do, without any active response or resistance.
• Indirect: When you get someone else to do the job for you instead of you figuring out how to solve the situation that has been caused. 
• Assertive: Standing up for your own right in a calm and positive way, without being aggressive or being passive about the situation.

2. What is the definition of Assertive Communication?

• Assertive communication is when you have to ability to express negative and positive thoughts by respecting yourself and also respecting other people and standing up for your right, without abuse, dominant/control, or any unwanted behavior.

3. What are the three ‘describes’? When should you use them?

• Describe the situation: be specific, objective, focus on the behavior, not the motives.
• Describe your feelings: use ''I'' statements. Do not be emotional. Focus on positive feelings related to your goals rather than the negativeness of the other person. Explain the way you feel.
• Describe the change you want: be specific, and also be reasonable at the same time. State your course of action politely by firmly.

4. List and explain 5 of the ‘Assertive Communication Tools’. Think of your own example for each.

• Think as well as we: don't just think of yourself but also think about the other person and include everyone.
• Be positive: Get rid of the negative thoughts and just stay positive with all the things that you want to say to the other person.
• Acknowledge their feelings: Consider the feeling of the other person because they might make a mistake but just be mindful about what you say to them because what you say could hurt them without you noticing.
• ''I'' statement: Be specific with how you are feeling about the situation so that they can take you seriously. Decide on what you want to say first before you say it, in that way you can avoid offending the other person.
• Ask for help: It's always good to ask for some help when you don't know what to do in a very tough situation.

5. List and explain in your own words 3 barriers to assertive communication.

• Culture: The most thing that stops people from having assertive communication is culture this is because everyone has different values and beliefs and it's really hard to speak up and do stuff when you fear that you might offend someone else or you don't want to break the rule that your culture has. For example, in some cultures, women are not allowed to perform in public or anywhere because they are seen as seductive by men.
• Age: Today people still have the beliefs that should always be valued no matter what. Therefore it makes them struggle when they have someone that is younger than them is being assertive when they communicate and some people might think that they are being rude. However, there are also other people who think that age doesn't really matter but they still find it difficult to talk to people who are older than them cause they don't want to disrespect them. 
• Bias: If a person does not like another person and that person speaks assertively to them about something else. This might perceive the communications being aggressive rather than being assertive, and respond negatively towards them.

6. What does assertive communication look like?

• Assertive communication is maintaining eye contact and facing the person. Sitting up straight and no slouching. Lean forward slightly, tilt your head, and nod occasionally to show that you are listening. Relax arms, don't cross them, don't point out fingers, don't point fingers, don't stiffen them at your sides.

7. What does assertive communication sound like?

• Be very clear with what you are saying so that they can understanding everything that you are trying to say. Be calm. The sound of your voice should also be at a varying level.

8. What does it mean to act like a scratched record when it comes to your boundaries?

• It means that you should stand your ground and do what you know is right, however, try and avoid causing trouble.

9. Think back to a time when you or a friend used a behavioral response that was not assertive. What type was it? What did you say? What happened as a result? What could you have done differently?

Example: My friend kept canceling on me, and so I just stopped reaching out to her or making any plans with her. This was a passive response and as a result, our friendship disintegrated. I could have let her know my feelings and the changes I wanted to see, and perhaps that would have repaired the relationship.

• ''I think that I should let you know that I'm hurt because every time we make plans to hangout you would always cancel on me the very last minute. You're a very good friend and I really love hanging out with you. I would appreciate it if you show more commitment to our friendship because I don't want this friendship to go to waste. So I'm wondering maybe next time we make plans please let me know beforehand that you won't make it so that we can figure out something else. Thank you''

10. Reflect on your behavioral responses until now. How do you usually respond to tricky situations? Do you want to change the way you respond, moving forward? What will you try to remember in the future when difficult situations arise?

• Most of the times I'm really passive about it because I'd feel bad if I actually let them know what my true feeling is and sometimes I just let it go and ignore it thinking that it's alright because they will not do it again but it turns out they keep on doing it and you just have to go along with it thinking that it's alright. Also because you don't want to ruin or damage anything.
• I really think that I'm going to change this because if I keep letting them slid with it they would think that they can do it again because you won't really care and you would just let it go, therefore meaning that I should speak up and let them know what I'm actually feeling so that they can avoid doing it.
• I would try and be straight forward with them but in a calm, positive and respectful way in that way, they won't misunderstand anything and it will make them feel that you are also respecting their feeling.

External Correspond.

 Thursday 12 August 2020

‘’Banner here’’

Reduce Plastic Waste Scheme 2020

Dear customers and suppliers

As you all know, our company, Stanley Organics Ltd, has come up with a new scheme on how to help out reduce the use of plastic packaging. This is because we want to stop putting plastic into our landfills; biodegradable/degradable plastic bags and bottles only break down in specific conditions, which means that it will not be a long - term solution. We have decided to invite our customers to be a part of the new scheme so that we may work together as a community, which could change the way the customer is buying our everyday product. Stanley Organics Ltd is also more than happy to welcome your feedback to help our company improve the new scheme.

Here are some new things that are going to be changed:

• All the plastic bags now need to be replaced with hessian bags (made from flax and hemp fibers). First bag free with purchases over $50. Or we will provide cardboards boxes (and helps carry to your car)

• Most liquids products (liquid soap, shampoo, dishwashing liquid, etc.) are now available in ‘fill in your own’ containers. You must bring your own container to fill and get a 5% discount.

• Fresh vegetables- instead of plastic bags, try re-useable waxed cotton bags to keep food fresh.

For more information, feel free to contact us on the information below. Thank you for your support.

Kind regards

Judith and Barry Sampson

Store owners

123 Green Road

Newton

Phone: 07 444 4444

Email: stanleyorganicsltd@email.com.nz

Website: stanleyorganics.com.nz

Internal Correspond.

 From: Meg Grant

To: All staff members

CC:  Manager

Date: 8 August 2020

Subject: Fire evacuation procedures

Hello everyone, 

After a recent fire evacuation drill, many of our staff members didn’t know what to do after that. Although the alarm sounded continuous (to indicate a fire warning), some of our staff members stayed inside the building. However, those people who left the building weren’t sure where they should wait. Some of the staff members even wandered off to get coffee. Therefore if there is another fire event, please follow these instructions carefully.

1. When the fire alarm sounds, staff are supposed to evacuate the building immediately.

2. After evacuating the building, assemble in the central car park.

3. You must NOT leave the car park or return to the building at any time.

4.  You must wait until the Fire Safety Officer gives them the all-clear and makes sure that it is safe.

Please make sure that all the emergency exits must be cleared at all times to avoid incidents that might occur. For any question. Please feel free to contact me by email MegGrant@workplace.com.nz.

Kind regards,

Meg Grants

Administrator

Internal Communications

31-07-20

Internal Communications:

To: Jenny McCabe, Manager

From: Harry McGregor

Date: 31 July 2020

Re: Review update about kitchen recycling.

I have received your request for an update about the kitchen recycling. Please find the following review.

• Most of the recycling bins are being  used correctly (eg plastic in the bins, etc)

• I have received mostly positive feedback from the stuff about the new system.

• Some stuff thinks it’s a waste of time, however, they follow the rules.

• The food bin isn’t emptied often enough and becomes smelly.

• There is some confusion over the recyclable types.

The new recycling program is going well, however, we may have a few problems with the recyclable types, therefore I recommend that we need to give instructions to our staff members regarding the new recycling program so that they won’t have any confusion over the recyclable types. 

Harry McGregor

Team Leader

Informal Letter.

The Department Store

335-337 The Parade

Beachtown

Auckland 1111

ph: 09 889 8899

email: thedepartmentstore@email.com.nz

web: thedepartmentstore.com.nz

27 July 2020

Mr. Jack Simpson

jacksampson@email.com.nz

34 Wynand Pl

Dear Mr. Simpson,

Thank you for contacting the department store company.

I sincerely apologize for the inconvenience and the bad customer service which you have received. We are sorry that you are unhappy, and we assure you that your complaint will be handled in a strict and serious way. We take full responsibility for the error and we guarantee that such incidents will not occur again in the future.

I understand that you deserve an explanation for this bad behavior and I can reassure you that there is no excuse for this type of behavior in our workplace. We have given the staff member a warning and he has also completed further service training.

We would like to offer you this $50 dollar voucher where you can spend in any of our department stores. We hope that you will accept this.

 Yours sincerely,

Rebecca Smith

manager@thedepartmentstore.com.nz

Manager- Footwear.

The Department Store. 

 

CHARACTER STRENGTH.

10/02/2020

                                     BRAVERY.

1. How is your bravery expressed, for example, by taking physical risks, supporting unpopular positions, being emotionally vulnerable, thinking unconventionally?

• I express my bravery by standing up for other people and for what I know is right, knowing that it might affect me some way but I would still do it.

2. How does bravery cause people to admire you?

• Risking your life to save others despite the risk of your own safety as well as facing the challenges, threats, and the difficulty in your life and speaking up for what's right, even if its an unfavorable opinion to a group.

3. How does bravery exclude you from certain experiences or opportunities?

• Taking on more responsibility that involves a more difficult challenge for me and also stepping up and accept that challenge.

                                               LOVE.

1. Who are the people who matter most to you across each of the domains of your life (friends, family, partners, co-workers)? How do you express love in a healthy way with each group? How does your love express itself differently?

• The most important people in my life are my friends, family and my partner. I express my love in a healthy way by making time for them and being there for them whenever they need it.

2. What are the ways in which you express love to others, and how is it received?

• Going out of my way to support others knowing that they have had a very bad day or they are stressed/frustrated with something. Giving them your very honest support and the gift of supportive words to comfort them.

3. How well do you receive love? It is often easier to give than to receive, but good relationships are a two-way street. Do signs of love make you uncomfortable or afraid of what others may expect from you?

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                                               CURIOSITY.

1. What are you most curious about? Were you a curious child and adolescent?

• I am always curious about trying out new things like food and going on adventures to explore new places and study about people's history.

2. How has your curiosity been affected growing up? If it has changed over time, why is that?

• When I was a child I was never been a curios person but as time goes by I have started to ask myself questions that I really wanted to know the answer to it and I know that I would not just sit there and I would suddenly get the answer, so I decided to ask other people about it, and sometimes my curiosity leads me to understand how things work as well as greater learning, not just by accepting them as they are but also being able to optimize them and make them more productive and more useful. Curiosity sometimes helps eliminate stress.

3. How does curiosity play out across the different domains of your life – family, socializing, work, school?

• Doing online research for school assessment/activities that are going on around me and then taking notice of what caused my curiosity the most.

THE HERO'S JOURNEY.

29.07.19
CONNECTION

The hero's journey is a story structure of a hero.

Ordinary World:

This makes the hero as a human, just like everyone else. It makes it easier for us to identify him. It's his everyday life where we learn about the hero, his capability, his true nature, and his perspective of life. This is where the heroes journey starts or it's where the hero exists before his present starts, unexpected adventures to come.  

Call to Adventure:

This is when the hero accepts a call to action and that's when the hero's adventure starts, for example, direct danger to his life or safety, his family or to the peace of the community in which he lives in. It may not be as dramatic as a gunshot, but just a simple phone call or conversation, and however it reveals itself, It basically disturbs the comfort of the Heros Ordinary World and perform a challenge or quest that must be undertaken by the Hero.

Refusal of the call:

Even though the hero may seem to accept the challenge or the quest that has been given to him, at this time he might have fears that need to be overcome. The Hero could be having second thoughts or he might have personal doubts if he can do the challenge or not. If this happens the Hero will have to refuse the call as a result that he may suffer somehow. The things or the problem that he might face might be too much to handle and the comfort of home will be far more attractive than the threatening road ahead.

Assistance:

At this urgent moment where the Hero really need guidance, he meets a mentor who gives him everything that he needs for his journey. He could be given an object of importance, despite the difficulty and the problems he will face, wise advice, practical training, or self-confidence. Whatever the mentor gives the Hero with it serves to resolve his doubts and his fears and give him the strength and courage to begin his quest.

Departure:

The hero is now ready to act upon his call to adventure and truly begins his quest, whether it's physical, spiritual, or emotional. The Hero may go willingly or he may be pushed, but either way, the Hero will finally cross the beginning between the world that he is familiar with and with the world that he is not familiar with. This might mean leaving home for the first time in his life or just doing something that he has always been scared to do but he just didn't have the courage to do so. However, the beginning presents itself as an action that represents the Hero's commitment to his journey.

Trials:

Now the Hero is finally out of his comfort zone the is now confronted by more difficult series challenges that will test him in a variety of ways. The difficulty is thrown into his path; whether that's physical complications or people bent on frustrating his progress during his journey. To reach his ultimate goals he must overcome each challenge that has been presented to his during his journey.

Approach:

The deep caves may represent many things in the Hero's story such as actual location in which lies a terrible danger or an inner struggle that up to now the Hero has not has to face. As the Hero approaches the cave, the Hero must make final preparations before taking that final jump into the great unknown.

As the Hero enters the deepest cave the hero may once again face some of the doubts and the fear that he has faced upon his call to adventure. This might mean that he may need time to reflect upon his journey and the terrifying road ahead in order to find the courage to continue his journey. This helps the audience understand the consequences of the difficulty that awaits the Hero and increase the pressure in anticipation of his ultimate test.

Crisis/Ordeal:

The ordeal may be a dangerous physical test or it could be an inner crisis that the Hero might face in order to survive or for the world in which the Hero's lives continue to exist. This means that he might face he greatest fear or most deadly enemy, the Hero must draw upon all of his skills and his experience that he has gathered upon the path to the deepest cave in order to overcome his most difficult challenge.

Only through some form of ''death'' can the Hero be reborn, experiencing descriptive reappearance that somehow gives him greater power or insight necessary in order to fulfill his destiny or to reach the end of his journey. This is the high point of the Hero's story and where everything he holds is put in the line. if he fails to do this, he will either die or he life would never be the same again.

Treasure:

After the Hero defeats the enemy, surviving death and finally overcoming his greatest personal challenge, which is his fear. The Hero is basically changed in a new form, appearing from a battle as a stronger person and often with a prize. 

The reward or the prize may come in different forms: an object of great importance or power, secret knowledge or insight, or even settlement with loved ones or family. Whatever the treasure, which may help him return to the Ordinary World, the Hero must put he's celebration aside and prepare himself for the last leg of his journey. 

Result:

This is the stage where the Hero's journey shows a reverse respond of The Call of Adventure in which the Hero has to cross the beginning. Now he must return home with his reward but his expectation of danger is replaced with that expression of approval and maybe justification, forgiveness or even proof.

But the Hero's journey is not over yet and he may still need one last push back into the Ordinary World. The moment before the Hero finally commits to the last stage of his journey or maybe a moment where he must choose between his personal life and that of a higher cause.

Return:

This the final stage of the Hero's journey in which he returns home to the Ordinary World as a changed man. He will be grown into a person, learned new things, face much terrible danger and even death but now he's looking forward to the start of a new life. His return may bring hope to those that were left behind at home, a direct solution to fix their problems or maybe a new aspect for everyone to consider.

The final reward that he obtains may be accurate or metaphoric. It could be a cause for celebration, self-realization or an end to strife, but whatever it is it represents three things: change, success, and proof of his journey. The return home also signals the need for resolution for the story's other key players. The Hero's doubters will be banished, his enemies will be punished and his allies will be rewarded. Conclusively the Hero will return to where he started but things will clearly never be the same again as his life has changed throughout his journey.

http://www.movieoutline.com/articles/the-hero-journey-mythic-structure-of-joseph-campbell-monomyth.html

Ordinary World:

We can use the Hunger Games as an example of the Hero's journey. Katniss is living in District 12. Her ‘Ordinary World’ is the daily grind of survival. She provides for her family - hunting, gathering, trading, looking after Prim.

Call to Adventure:

 Every year two people from each district are picked to compete in the Hunger Game. On the reaping day, Katniss sister's name gets picked to participate in the 74th annual Hunger Games and Katniss volunteers to go instead of her sister. This is were Katniss and Peter start her adventure.

Assistance:

 Now that Katniss volunteers to join the Hunger Game together with her partner, Peter, they have now come to meet their assistance/mentor which is Haymitch. He was preparing Katniss and Peter for the game, giving them advice and most important details which they will need while competing in the game. Whatever Haymitch gives Katniss and Peter will give them both the courage to begin their adventure.

Trials

 Now Katniss and Peter are ready to compete in the game they both say goodbye to their mentor and they are now in the zone where they now have the choice to choose the path they want to take throughout the competition. They are now in the zone where it's just the two of them making decisions without their mentors telling them what to do. Katniss and Peter have now out of their comfort zone and they are now facing all the difficulty and the challenges in the game. This means that Katniss and Peter might be stressing out and frustrating during the game. Katniss and Peter must overcome all the challenges in the games in order to reach their ultimate goals. 

Approach:

While Katniss and Peter are in the game zone this is where the actual location where the danger lies and all the difficulty that's thrown at them, which is for Katniss and Peter had to face together. As Katniss and Peter enter the danger zone they had to face some of the doubts and fear they had face upon their call to adventure.